I hit my two year mark in NYC last week. When the first year mark hit, I was in Montreal for a work conference. This year, I was in Milwaukee, hometown of the parent company I work for. It was a good trip especially for team building, but the return flight was delayed four hours and by the time I got back to my apartment, it was 2 AM and I had forgotten about the date. Still, it was so good to be back in this city I’m calling home.
The past two years have been incredible, a lot of it me pushing myself harder than ever and getting into new situations that I never could imagine. It’s definitely not been all ups; what’s hard is not always bad, and what’s new isn’t always good. Yet through all the madness, laughs, adventures, new relationships, heartaches, and loneliness, I find myself back to a fundamental truth: life can be what I make of it and I seek to be better.
Themes in life may repeat themselves, but never in the same way and rarely are we the same person in the same situation twice. Time will wear on us all, but there is an essence and purity in the depths of emotions that propel us forward, even in our darkest moments and times. We can not always be at our best, but there is strength in moving forward from those times with the lessons learned if any. I’ve always had a hard time letting go–it’s never easy and sometimes you just want to hold on for as much as your heart will take–but once you let go, you can open yourself up to healing and if it’s needed, forgiveness. And then there’s love… [May go into this some other time.]
Deep thinking aside, here are my target goals and priorities for personal growth for this year:
Sleep is foundational and while I can function on less, I need to get into a regular habit of not staying up as late as I do. Working out, cooking, and writing tend to be very therapeutic for me given via the dopamine effects, ability to create and nurture yourself, and also reflect on my thoughts and feelings. The harder things, setting time to learn a new discipline and language; these are things I’ve failed at before, but they’re great challenges. I’ve always wanted to be able to communicate in another language given the instant bond that knowing another language instantly affords you, yet always too embarrassed to practice.
And to relax, that sounds easier said than done, but it isn’t. Some people drink, smoke, run, take pictures, or hop online. Outside of hanging out in good company, I’m at a lost for what my current form of relaxation is. It used to be photography, then it became hiking. I don’t know what the newest form of this will exactly be, but it will either be creative or exploratory. My hopes is that it’ll be artistic, force me again outside of my comfort zone, and maybe meld with one of the existing goals. Ideally, this is me relaxing without care versus being conscientious of most actions.
Goals identified. Next step, come up with the plan and strategy.