I’m back in New York! It’s been a hell of a few weeks leading up to now… close friends’ wedding, moving out of Irvine, then trying to put as many things in place/take care of them before I leave to NY, each major event about 7 days apart. I woke up very sick the day before I was supposed to leave, throwing up everything that day including the previous night’s dinner… but I was determined to make my flight.
The morning I left, I had a phone interview with a recruiter from my old company for a NY position. When I landed and finally got my luggage, it was about 8:30 PM local time and I’d been on the bus for about 20 minutes when to my surprise, it was a call for a phone interview for a position back in CA. I was so thrown off, that when the hiring manager asked me if it was a good time, I said, “I’m on a bus, but if you don’t mind the background noise, sure.” The interview went well considering I didn’t quite remember what position I had for, and I was slightly distracted by some very good smelling chicken that the lady in front of me had been snacking on during this cold night. I paused briefly when she asked me about salary requirements, all of a sudden feeling quite self-conscious of my surroundings on a bus headed into queens, and also choosing not to end my sentence with thousand.
Most of the first week was spent recovering from that lingering stomach bug (gastroenteritis) and I ended up having some form of porridge for most of my meals. I had some much appreciated help from a friend that helped make me some chicken soup, and my brother who spent Saturday with me making more porridge and an egg omelet as well.
Thoughts and Goals
want to stay long enough to grow, explore, fail, learn, perhaps love, laugh, and maybe, if I’m lucky with timing, succeed and create a new rhythm of life for me
Now that I’m finally here, this visit is MUCH different from the previous ones. I’m here, mostly alone, and evaluating this new life to see if it’s something I want and can have. I’ve been moving between different lives and schedules for the past few months, and the life in each city and home has been so different. I feel like I’ve taken enough time away from formally working, so one of my first priorities is to get back to work and have some income again (along with a career path). I’m being very budget conscious along the way, keeping a log of my expenses and minimizing them where I can. Nine days in, I’m at about $325 including my discounted airfare, and $112 for my 30 day unlimited metro pass.
There’s a dating question on okcupid that asks, Are you happy with your life? I’ve answered Yes, but was questioning that during my cold walk to the grocery store today. I started dating and have had to say find ways (sometimes direct) to say no to things like the movies because it’s an expense I don’t want right now. But back to being happy, sometime last year, I crossed the threshold from No to Yes… and while I wish I was currently employed, I honestly like myself and my life right now. I feel healthy, mentally and physically, and think I have a pretty good attitude and outlook on life.
That said, while the most obvious priority for me is to find long-term work, I’ve found that New York is proving to be a good growing experience for me as well. I’ve struggled with social anxiety (most of it unknowingly) for most of my life, but have finally been able to overcome it these past two years. The thought of NY was a great idea as a test to see how far I’ve come. I’ve still got some residual habits/delays, but for the most, it’s looking good!
I also rediscovered the joy of cooking as well! Part of it by necessity (budget), and part of it by social pressure, I’ve come to appreciate and relax while cooking. I may not have much experience in the arena, but meals are that much more satisfying if I saved money and made them!